...I talk on the phone ALL DAY _every_ workday.

There are times I don't want to talk on the phone.

This isn't because I'm angry at you.

This isn't because I don't want a connection with you.

This isn't because I don't want to hear what's going on in your life.

It's because I spend day after day with people with problems in my ear. I need to rest my ears.

So please don't call me more than once every week or two.

This includes friends.

This includes relatives.

This includes everybody.

Please read up on introverts.

Frankly I'm not getting any personal recharge time here and at some point I'm going to blow at you all if you don't back off.
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Sep. 19th, 2014 01:12 pm)
1993 Dodge Dakota (Samantha): 1
Nimitzbrood: 0

Got the long brake line from front to back replaced but not bled.

Start Sam up to power-bleed them or at least pressurize them so I can bleed them at the master cylinder. Look under her for leaks...WTF? It's dripping in the middle. The line I used was a roll of line so no unions there...wait...smells like gas. Fuck.

So turn her off and check and discover that one or two of the three gas lines spray fuel right where they make an "S" curve above the frame. *sigh*

Well back to the drawing board. The nice thing is that Sam is from 1993 and her fuel pump is not super high pressure. That means I can replace those lines with heavy duty fuel hose which is well within tolerances. Also two of the three lines are low pressure lines anyways. So...hose it is..just not today.

Have to get cleaned up so I can go see my daughter march in the Homecoming parade with the Best Buddies group of kids who partner with special needs students.

Speaking of which I have AWESOME news! This year the one special education group has had to hand off most of their students to actual special ed classes within school districts. The teacher for my daughter did an assessment and promptly moved her up to the advanced class! This would have never happened in the other program and I'm genuinely happy about it.

On top of all of this my wife is insufferably proud of her size 12 pants. An truth be told I'm proud of her as well. She's shown that she's serious about losing weight and is sticking to it.
Well besides my 40GB OCZ Vertex 2 SSD suddenly not responding in my Dell D620 I also ended up in the ER yesterday evening and at the ophthalmologist today.

So yesterday midday or so I got a sharp pain that I described to my co-worker as a tiny gnome stabbing the back of my eyeball. Took some Advil and it went away. Took a nap after work and after waking up I was all of a sudden re-attacked by said gnome every time the light levels changed. Did some digging and tested and sure enough if I covered the right eye which hurt and shone light into the left eye it caused pain in the right eye. Only thing I found with that symptom was Iritis or internal inflammation of the eyeball.

So we go to the ER and spend a couple hours there while my sister-in-law watched our daughter. The ER doc mis-diagnoses as a corneal abrasion. I've had those before and this felt nothing like that. So they send us home with topical drops and the number for the optho for tomorrow.

Today we call and get an appointment with the optho late afternoon. I stay off work and hide in the dark hissing like a bad vampire every time I'm exposed to light.

We go to the doc and she does tests and comes up with the same thing I self-diagnosed as - Iritis. No cause that we can come up with though between us.

So now I have to put Prednesone drops in my eyes once an hour and a dilator drop twice a day for about a week. Advil seems to be keeping the pain away for the moment but that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is that these steroid drops have a 50% change of causing white cataracts down the road.

For now though I'm just going to roll with the punches and stick with my new found look of an alternate universe Golden Age retired Nick Fury sporting an eye patch over my right eye and prescription sunglasses.
People I've met over the years have mentioned having the same problem I do where I can't shut down my mind enough to fall asleep. It's like constantly having wheels turning at high speed and once you quiet one of them you realize how many others there are and spend time rushing from one thing to another trying to calm things down enough to get some sleep.

At least one writer I know has this problem to such a degree that she once said she banged her cranium on the headboard of her bed in an effort to knock herself unconscious. I'm not there yet thankfully but nights like this make me come close.

The problem as usual is that I'm awake. Sounds simple right? Why don't I try being _not_ awake? Frankly it doesn't work that way. Once I'm awake I have so many things and ideas that I can't focus. If I can't focus I can't quiet my mind. If I can't quiet my mind there's no way in hell I'm going to get to sleep. Add the restless legs and arms. Always feeling too warm unless a fan is blowing directly on me. Any little house noise puts me on guard and I have to get up and check it out.

It all adds up to sleepless nights.

Often I get chided for taking naps but honestly I need them. I've always needed them. If my body and mind decide to put me out for a couple hours so much the better. And often those naps help far more than sleeping in on Sunday. (Which BTW is the only day I really am able to sleep in these days.)

So what do I do on these nights? Well sometimes I converse with other sleepless friends across the world. Sometimes I write. (Chapter 6 of Becoming Twilight is up BTW. I finished it tonight.) Other nights I sketch but that doesn't happen too often. Most often what happens is I either try and go to sleep then fail and am up on the web all night until I'm too exhausted to stay awake. Or I sleep an hour or two, get up, go back to bed and sleep another hour or two, lather, rinse, repeat.

Tonight it was writing plus reading a manga online - Arakawa Under the Bridge. Between that I seem to have started to exhaust my brain with just enough time to get enough sleep to function.

Provided the phone doesn't ring with a 911 tech support call that is.

I swear if I could get away with taking a sedative every night to knock me out I would. So far only heavy sedatives seem to work properly. Everything else works in reverse and spins the wheels even faster. Meditation helps sometimes. Exercise other times. Nothing seems to be consistent. I even stop being affected by the sedatives in a relatively short period of time.


Looks like the lunar princess wants a visit with me finally. Good night!
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Jul. 7th, 2013 05:53 pm)
Mmmmmmm! Brake fluid! Mmmmmm!

So just finished the test drive in Dorothy and after replacing the brake hose no more sticking caliper! It might be a simple repair but I'll take the wins where I can get them. I didn't realize until I drove it today how much resistance that sticking caliper was causing. The car moves much more freely now obviously.

Now this means I likely have to save up and buy the right-hand caliper and hose and preemptively replace that. (I have the rotor and pads for that side already.)

Still working from home since the office flooded. I estimate another week at least of this if not more. Frankly it's forcing me to get my personal workspace into much better shape.

In an effort to help curb the cooling costs out there I put a long piece of `1/2" conduit and three 8 mil shower curtains along the central beam of the workshop separating the mechanic/craft/etc. space from the cooled computer/man cave space. Not a really good seal but it works well enough that I can feel a temp differential between the two bays.

Currently reading:

A Dance with Dragons
Fallout Equestria (the original)

I'm two-thirds of the way through 'Dance but decided to take a break from it and read something lighter. Well...if you could call MLP fanfic written in a distopian future lighter that is. And frankly Fallout Equestria is very well written.

Got the tire for my motorcycle. Unfortunately I can't get the old tire off the rim and don't want to force it because it's a deep bead aluminum rim from the 80's and could potentially crack. That means I'll have to take it somewhere. Unfortunately that means another week because I can't afford the money yet.

So I've started brewing cheap green tea without sugar and re-using the plastic tea bottles from previously bought tea and it's working out pretty well. I can drink it easily and it's good for me. I've also made green tea popsicles with sugar and those turned out really well. I did do a batch of 4 without sugar but the jury is still out on those.

Daughter didn't sleep much last night. We're keeping her awake as we speak so she sleeps tonight. I really didn't sleep last night either until 8 am today then slept until about 10:30 - 11:00 or so. I was awake all night trying to keep our daughter in her bed and reading so my wife can get some sleep. All to no avail. Daughter is throwing a fit about having to stay awake now. :-(

Regardless I'm off to try and do something to keep cool....
If it's stimulating word-wise or visually (same thing sometimes) I will recall it when triggered to.

This is why I used to read more and more new things. Because it takes a long long time before I forget a book that I enjoyed. (And some I didn't enjoy.) The same goes for movies. 5 minutes into reading it and I've recalled the basic plotline. With movies it could be as small as a moment of 'Oh. It's that movie.' and I recall almost the entire film.

Sometimes I still catch details I missed the first time around but as time goes on a longer and longer span exists between rereads/rewatches. Eventually I just forget about rewatching the film/show again because I am always recalling what I watched. It becomes no fun any more.

Thankfully there are shows and movies that I haven't seen enough times. These are almost always the ones I really enjoyed. The ones precious to me. Firefly/Serenity for example. I was able to re-watch it all again this weekend and I enjoyed every bit and caught a great amount of things I missed first time 'round. Sadly I know that won't last so now I have to restrict myself to how many times I watch it.

I hate it. I would love to be able to just forget some things in my life.

Unfortunately that's unlikely to happen. Perhaps that's why people truly get Alzheimer's. They no longer want to recall things so they shut down proper recall so they can experience those things anew. Unfortunately for them they end up experiencing those things that are for the most part highly emotionally charged but are not necessarily what they want to remember. And then...when they realize the mistake...they can't turn proper recall back on.

Please do not take my ramblings as if I do not believe there is a medical reason for Alzheimer's! I'm just theorizing and sputtering off at the keyboard. Please.

Ten minutes and my daughter will be in bed. Then I'll go to the store and pick up some inexpensive aquarium parts and go out to the workshop and be creative with them, three plastic tubes from replacement automotive wiper blades, and some LEDs. Hopefully it will go well.

Or maybe I'll just go to sleep myself and try and start fresh tomorrow. Either one works.
*extra points to anyone who gets the reference in the title*


So I've been to the dentist finally in the last couple of days. The above pictures are the x-rays. We'll talk about the one in the upper left in a moment. Let's focus on the rest of them.

Those remaining three represent the tooth I just had a root canal on. (Upper right is the After picture.) It went well but the painkillers aren't doing squat tonight. (I also got to text from the chair while the doc was working on me. Novel experience. :-) He was okay with it too so that's good.)

In a few weeks they'll do a build-up which won't hurt. Then a few weeks after that they'll do a crown. All good. We'll figure out the finances later. At least in 48 hours I'm not supposed to be in pain any more.

Now...on to that remaining pic...

That pic is very interesting. The smaller tooth is my impacted wisdom tooth that I have no pain with but it's resting against the next tooth. The next tooth as you can see by the internal pins has had a root canal already. And it's broken. And it has to come out. This will be an oral surgeon's visit. Expensive. So we're waiting on fixing that.

The next tooth in line is live and has had a crown put on it. Except that now there's decay under that crown. *sigh*

Thankfully we now have dental insurance which will take some of the sting out of all this. I'm thinking that the oral surgeon can take all three teeth out then the doc can put a pin in the jaw and place a three-tooth-bridge in that spot to restore function. Again. Not cheap. But hopefully I'll be able to afford it.

I'm gonna go try and rest now and see if the painkillers ever kick in...
Sorry. Been busy with work work work. Not that I mind really. I spend a lot of time working because it's a good job with good people and well within my abilities.

Let's see...what's been happening...

The family is doing fine. My wife is concerned about my daughter having muscle twitches in her sleep but honestly I'm not too concerned. She's also concerned that my daughter seems to be pausing for periods of time - similar to what used to be called petite-mal seizures. Things like pausing mid-action or sitting and staring for a time until interrupted out of it.

Personally I'm not concerned because I know that such things can be caused by getting internally distracted. I have been doing these things for years to no ill effect. I often stop cold when struck by an intrusive thought or something I have never considered. This still happens to this day and I don't consider it a seizure any more than purposely stopping the motion of my arm or leg.

Unfortunately the doctors and my wife disagree and are putting my daughter on seizure medicine (mildy) until they can do a scan. I'm not happy with this but I'm leaving it alone. I just don't have the spoons right now to deal with it or fight it.

In other news I hopefully helped someone from afar. I was on one of the pony IRC channels and a kid there was complaining that his father played guitar too loud for him and that his microphone was also failing so he couldn't talk on Skype. So I boxed up my ancient Valcor mixer, cables, a Sony F320A microphone, some cheap noise cancelling headphones I'd repaired, and one of the two spare sets of Nady open-air headphones I had lying around and shipped it all to him. He got the second box but still waiting on the first box. I'm just glad that I had stuff around someone else could use and that I got the opportunity to help somebody.

It's strange but looking back while people did give me stuff there was always a sense of never having enough. That's not the fault of my parents just of life. People around me have always had more physical things or have done more cool shit than I've ever done. I'm frankly a little jealous. So when the opportunity to help alleviate that in others comes up I jump on it. I suppose that's all too human but it still feels intrusive in this day and age. Especially mailing someone something at random what with all the fears of predators or other nastiness in the world.

It saddens me that we seem to have lost the ability to just help others. I remember story after story growing up of someone seeing or hearing of someone having trouble then just sending what they could to help. They used to make news stories about it. Guess unless those stories are big enough to include a ton of people they don't rate any more because I don't see them any more.

As a side note I can't find my damn condenser mic. (MXL 990) I had it in a box with my M-Audio USB->XLR adapter and the entire box is missing. I know it didn't get thrown out but the only place I can think of it being is up in the attic of the garage. And I can't think of why it would get up there. I've looked everywhere else at this point. I'll find it I know but it's just frustrating. I need to clean out more stuff. I got rid of 5 older systems, a server case, and a box of misc parts through the recycling service at work. That helped a lot.

I'm slowly starting writing again. Little paragraphs here and there. I'm way behind but I think I'm finally moving again. I've got someone helping me edit the current chapters of The Unlicensed. I need to read up on Torn World so I can finish up Oranaan's current predicament - that world has grown so much since I wrote anything for it. And I've oddly started a Twilight Sparkle fanfic. Nothing weird just something my mind has been noodling with all of a sudden. I guess you just can't keep a good imagination down. ^_^

Health-wise I'm doing okay. Waiting on the finances to resolve some issues but I won't go into that. I am eating better for the most part but I still sit way too often. The big problem I'm dealing with is that we have a gym membership but I just can't currently get myself to go in there and walk on the treadmill due to social anxiety issues. I just don't want to be the fat guy on the treadmill in front of everybody. I'm not that overweight I'm just very self-conscious about it. People around me are all "just do it" but it's harder than they understand because they don't have the problem.

Anyway I'm going to go try and get motivating on my father's computer and other things. I'll try and posts here more often. Promise.
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Oct. 5th, 2012 11:43 pm)
23:48 PM 10/05/2012

So...Insomnia! My old nemesis we meet again!

For how tired I was when we first came home from having dinner with the in-laws I'm surprised I'm awake. But then I remember lying on the futon in the library for a bit so I might have napped and not realized it. I was that tired.

Speaking of in-laws my father-in-law gave me his Ryobi gas leaf blower/vacuum. It's pretty cool. Besides being a blower it's also a mulching vac. I intend to put it to use this weekend.

Looking at what's left outside I really want to put up a fence between the house and the garage but because I need to get the lawn tractor in and out of there I need a fairly large door. AND there has to be a simple human door so we can get in and out to the back door of the house. I wonder if I can design simple temporary partitions that can be moved as needed,

Continued under the cut... )
23:13 PM 08/25/2012

So it's the weekend again and I've got a ton of things to do but frankly I'm getting only a certain percentage done simply because I'm tired again. This time though it's a physical thing because my chest muscle still hurts from the 'Dash. Aleve helps a lot but I can't take more than two or so of those in a 24 hour period so I'm holding off to take them early tomorrow so I can take them again early on Monday and not have an issue during work.

Suppsoedly a rib muscle/bruise should only take two weeks to heal and this one seems right on track as it's starting to hurt less unless I aggravate it. Still it was well earned so I begrudge it easily. ;-)

So regardless my wife and child when to her mother's brithday party and I took the opportunity to sleep for several hours without interruption and felt much better afterwards. Enough to get up and do a few things here in the workshop.

Had actual time to write in the paper journals with my quil pen. That was refreshing even though I'm horribly out of practice and dripped quite a bit on the paper. It was refreshing to get the words down on paper. As i've said before physical writing has a tendency to force me to compose my thoughs before setting them down. That makes for a slower flow but a more refined one. Especially when I'm using ink and a good quality journal.

And it's one step closer to getting back to my fiction writing. If I can make the time to put the words down on paper them I can make the time to put the words down in electronic form.

With the schedule I'm keeping for both work and sleep though that's hard to do. Especially with everything else on top of it. I'll keep trying though.

Still getting a handle on things around the house again. Bought a new trash can for the kitchen from the Goodwill today because the one we have is rusting at the top. The new one is also stainless steel so we'll see if it does any better.

And I have to mow the grass tomorrow on top of everything else.

One of the things I was writing down today was transcribing my quick notes about life, the universe, and magick into my permanent journals. I forced myself not to edit as I went along. And for that I think I'm better off. I can add amendments as separate entries later down the road.

And that's where things stand right now. Not going into anything else right now. Tomorrow I have to set up my father's new-to-him computer and transfer his applications and data to the new system. It's going from XP Pro to Windows 7 Pro so hopefully everything is going to work okay. If not then I can always load it up with XP Pro and he'll have the Windows 7 key for when he can upgrade/replace his applications.

During/after that I have to help my neighbor's kid with his laptop. He's got such a yearning to learn technical stuff. I hope like hell I'm up to teaching him.

'Night all!
14:24 PM 01/29/2012

So I go back to work tomorrow and that's a good thng. I've been idle for far too long.

I do want to put something out here though for anybody who was even peripherally involved in this whole ordeal about my kidney stone and blood sugar.

It's not your fault.

All of this was going to happen anyway. For instance the reason the blood sugar got all whacked out in the first place is that I consciously chose to ignore good practices and habits that I'd kept for seven years as well as ignore what my body was telling me. This would have happened no matter if I had just gotten a job at a bowling alley versus the tech support position I currently hold.

My fault.

Oh and those of you I work with that may end up reading this? That half-day I came in to work after the lithotripsy had absolutely nothing to do with having to go back into the hospital. It was a foregone conclusion and would have happened anyway. Best that it happened sooner versus later.
Gory medical misc behind the cut tag... )
Still I should be able to be considerably more active now that I don't have that chronic low-grade pain any more and I can concentrate on not only work but preventing this from happening ever again. Even today I'm up and doing some things - the usual laundry and dishes.

Throughout all this my wife has been top-notch as expected. I've always known she has this sort of strength in her but it's nice to see it out in the open. She also rested most of this weekend BTW and a well deserved rest it was.

Tomorrow I'll go back to work and do the best I can to set the stage so I can have a good structure to handle all this without a problem going forward. Not too many changes really just stuff I used to have in place that fell to the wayside.

Two final notes of annoyance:

First - the damn sonic people have _already_ billed me and had the gall to send a letter asking me for an "assignment of rights" to let them deal with the insurance company and oh yeah BTW pay us $3300+ immediately. Yeah. Not gonna happen. Years ago I asked our insurance company how to handle this and was told "Don't pay them anything until we tell you to.". I'm going to take that to heart and include "Don't sign anything they ask you to." as well.

Second - I've been cold the entire time I've been out of the hospital. It's going away as I get more active so I'm pretty sure that's just shock to my system. I think I will obtain some Monty Python killer rabbit slippers though. ;-)

Off to do more laundry...
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Jan. 25th, 2012 06:34 pm)
18:36 PM 01/25/2012

Just a quick note. Got the sonic hammering done today and it should have completely broken up the stone. I'll know more when I have the follow-up visit.

Meanwhile...the pain is gone. I don't know if it'll come back but the low, groaning, ever-present pain in my side that I've had for years is gone. Let's hope it stays that way.

Goofed up my sugar today though just from stress. 196 right before we left for the hospital, 269 waiting for the procedure, 286 after the procedure, 196 after I got home. WTF?

I took my meds during dinner tonight and I'll get back on track tomorrow. Tonight is for sleeping...
So talked to the doc this morning and he's sending me home with an oral medication. Not sure what the plan is but sad as it is I will likely go home, take a shower, get dressed, and go to work. I can't afford not to.

So thus begins another round of constant glucose testing among other things. Not thrilled by that but don't have a choice in the matter. One thing I'm going to do this time is make sure people stay out of my face about it. Last time I had people constantly up in my grill about what my numbers were all the time. I know you care people but WTF? I'm 42 years old - deal with your own lives and I'll deal with mine.

Regardless I'll get it all back on track. The workshop, the job, the house, everything.

Oh great Celestia! I have to order seeds next month and get them started! Wonderful. That alone will be a project.

That said seven years between reminders about one's stupidity is not too bad in my book. I know I can do better but honestly it's annoying.
17:37 PM 01/23/2012

Currently posting from a hospital bed. Nothing serious except I had some icky medical issues related to a kidney stone last night and some blood sugar.

Everything is currently fine. I'm scheduled to have the 1cm+ stone pulverized by sound waves on Wednesday.

And since my blood sugar was high at the time they're keeping me here until it goes down.

To all family members: It's OKAY. Don't panic and go nuts on me. I have some limited internets and Skype so I'm good for now. I'll post a full account of what happened later.

I just figured I'd get the info post out of the way. Likely I'm not getting out of here tonight but that's not a big deal and really depends on my A1C test results.
Working hard in the call center (pic related) and sometimes the calls are damn long.

I had a 2+ hour one today as well as an hour long one. Other guys seem to be getting huge amounts of calls where I seem to be getting the ones that require long periods of step through and hand-holding.

It doesn't really matter to me because I honestly enjoy helping people but I really have to learn to get up out of the chair and walk around a bit while on those calls. Thankfully we're using Bluetooth headsets so that's not a big deal.

Needless to say I really need to eat better at this job. Today I had some horrible cramps that were likely from how much bad food I've been eating the last couple weeks. I've got a craving for chop suey or beef and broccoli over rice. I may yet go out and get some.

But so far despite putting my foot in it and making a major mistake earlier this week I'm still employed and doing well. And frankly I'm enjoying the job.

Now...off to see if there's still a Chinese place open this late...
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Apr. 21st, 2011 09:42 am)
08:43 AM 04/21/2011

So with the resurgence of taking my vitamins I've been sleeping less. This is both a good and bad thing. I'm able to get more done but on the other hand I've had trouble staying asleep. I'm thinking I should maybe just roll with it and see what the results are. I certainly can get a lot more done.
Pinkamina Diane Pie! Rock farmer extraordinaire! )
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Mar. 4th, 2011 09:53 am)
09:55 AM 03/04/2011

All hail the passing of the plague. The first day I just didn't feel like getting out of bed and indeed slept an extra 4 hours at least that morning. The next day after taking cold medcine I slept well enough except that I slept in the wrong position and kinked my neck badly and have been sore the next day or two after.

All that seems to have finally gone away and I'm feeling well today.
Manic Monies... )
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Mar. 1st, 2011 06:16 am)
06:17 AM 03/01/2011

I woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat and non-productive cough. Over the day a stuffed nose was added to that but not too bad.

Today the cough is now mildly productive but I'm also sore because after waking up around 2:41 am to go to the bathroom it was easier to stumble into the library and curl up on the futon to go back to sleep.

After the daughter goes to school today I'm going to take some generic Nyquil, set the phone on vibrate, and go back to sleep.

*pulls covers back over his head*
Some lessons I never seem to learn.

I cleaned the back entrance bathroom...and didn't open a window. So once again I got a snoot full of chemicals. Wonderful. Aren't you supposed to get smarter as you get older?

Anyway managed to get all the bills paid today and hopefully I'll be able to get some things up on E-Bay this evening. (We could really use the extra cash.)

I wish there was a way to make money writing as an amature. I really really enjoy it but there's no way I can afford to do it in any professional manner at this time. *grump*
Savage Security... )
nimitzbrood: (Default)
( Feb. 23rd, 2011 10:26 am)
So I didn't sleep well again last night. It was a combination of things that I won't go into here. If there weren't so many downsides to taking sedatives I'd certainly consider it sometimes.

Part of it is I've been off my diet recently. Not horribly but a lot of rich food that has caused me to pick up an extra 10 pounds so I'm now 5' 7", 235lbs in my shorts. I'll rectify this shortly.
Dinking Drives... )


nimitzbrood: (Default)
Mike Hebel


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