The Stuff they call SPAM!

The Hatred of Spammers (To: The Hero of Canton - Joss Whedon)

SPAM, the stuff they call SPAM

Chorus: It robs us of bandwidth and makes us all poor
It slows down our traffic as it heads out the door
We hate it so much, always trashcanned
The stealer of bandwidth, the stuff they call SPAM

Now the admins can see their backbones breakin'
They hear their servers lament
They see the spammers are makin'
Money for every one sent

They said "We don't want the burden.
We'll block all that we can."
Going without much rest
They did their very best
To block each and every SPAM.

Chorus

Now here is what separates spammage,
From legitimate messages that are sent.
The address is fake and it takes the cake
That the subject's really bent.

It comes in as greetings.
It comes in as "Hi!"
it comes in without warning
Filling your box to the sky!

(*groan*)

Chorus

Momma's Boy

Momma's Boy
To the tune of "Grendel" by Kathy Mar and Leslie Fish


Dumb as dirt and twice as mean, such as I made mother crazy
Worst of children I have been, nasty, smelly, mean and lazy
I'm the child she had to raise, what's my mom to do?
Dragged me to a rocky hole and shoved me in there too.

Chorus: Son of mine you've been a disappointment since your birth
I heard those very words till I slept in the earth
Momma I would be sorry but I'm so very dead
I never listened to a word you said

Mother laid us down to rest, but I just laid there faking
I crept out the cave to a meeting of my making
Came back with a stomach full of flesh, ripped off of the bone
Time and time I went back out to murder on my own

Chorus

Helmets gathered in a hall, the smell to my taste delightful
When I broken down the door the battle there was frightful
One of them hacked away my arm, it laid there by the door
Hunted me to the cave where I bled there on the floor

Chorus

Instrumental

Mother's wine was spiked so she was still deeply sleeping
I was her delight but sadly not worth keeping
I bet she'll avenge me now, what else could she do?
Mothers don't let your sons, get the best of you.

Chorus