A borrowed sonic screwdriver and a broken tie-fighter...

August 18, 2008 11:10 AM 8/18/08

So we went to the funeral memorial for a friend of mine yesterday and it was okay if a bit long. It’s always interesting to see who shows up at those things and this time was no exception. I saw quite a number of people I hadn’t seen in literally years. Some with kids, some changed, some the same. Regardless I can only hope I have that many people attend my memorial when I pass - she was well liked.

Knowing the random geekyness of the people attending I drug both my sonic screwdrivers with me just in case they would be useful for comic value. Turns out I was right and they got a few smiles and a couple laughs.

When you’re “fen” (a SciFi/Fantasy fan) it shows in how you raise you children. I was sitting there in the downstairs kitchen area and pointed the noisy sonic screwdriver at my wife jokingly. A young boy nearby asked if it was a sonic screwdriver from Doctor Who and if he could use it to fix his tie-fighter “happy meal” toy. I agreed and he immediately extended the toy, triggered the sounds and light, and proceeded to “fix” his tie-fighter with it. Then he respectfully retracted the tip of the toy and handed it back to me. I think it was the coolest thing I saw the entire time I was there. :-)

Anyway we stayed there about 3+ hours or so before we had to leave to pick up our daughter. That was more than enough time for me.

Picking up the RS/6000 tomorrow so I’ll have to drive the truck to work. That’s not going to be lightweight so I’ll have to make sure the bed of the truck is organized. Likely I’ll have to put a couple of the cut rod stock crates in there and a cut sheet of plywood on top of them so that the two cabinets of this thing sit evenly on top of it. I don’t think they’re thin enough to fit two of them between the wheel wells in the truck bed.

Kind of wondering when LJ is going to have another sale on permanent accounts. I can’t afford one right now but I might be able to afford one down the road. They’re pricey but then a permanent account, from what I understand, means you don’t get billed any more. Period. And that would be a good thing because I use the hell out of this thing. I’ll certainly be checking into it. I already have a permanent account at insanejournal.com that I mirror this one to but I haven’t figured out how to use MacJournal to post to it yet.

Way behind in writing anything other than these entries. I took a look at the webcomic script and I’ve got ideas but it’s not moving. I think I really need to seriously pursue finding someone to draw it for me.

In case anybody is interested here’s the gist of it. The idea behind it is that there are deities, minor deities, and then there are the deities that this story is about. A full-blown deity would be someone who controls the motion of all the galaxies and stars - someone who can see the entire pattern of thing, a minor deity would be someone who controls a single major force like gravity or magnetism, while the people in this story control more specific things.

For instance the two main characters are Tell and Astra. Astra is The Goddess of the Grass Blades (not what you think) and Tell is The Goddess of Lost Files. (Paper, electronic, or otherwise.) The story at the moment pretty much revolves around Tell and her life but that may change in the future. I’d originally chosen the name Everyday Gods but that was taken so I’ve chose to name it Minor Devotions.

The whole premise is kind of like how ordinary people given a job with certain powers an abilities would go about their lives. Kind of like the show Dead Like Me but with a broader focus. And anyway I don’t even know if that’s wholly where it’s going yet. The thing is not that well formed in my mind even if I have written 5300+ words at this point. :-/

So if anybody is interested I’m looking for an artist that would be comfortable drawing a webcomic and is willing to step into part of my brainpan with me. I’m not picky about style but I do have some images in my head of how people look. For instance Tell and Astra are twins but it’s hard to see because Astra kept her black hair and Tell is a blond. That sort of thing.

Gah! 1200+ words later I’m late for getting back to work!

The crusty burnt bits...

August 18, 2008 9:05 PM 8/18/08

Things go wrong in life. They just do. Bad things happen, bad people cause you problems, bad, bad, bad, bad.

Bad things happen while cooking too. Things get burnt, cooked too long, or cooked not enough.

When things aren’t cooked well enough that’s your fault. Period. Provided nothing interfered you made a choice, be it from whatever information you had, to cook whatever it was for only that length of time.

When things are overcooked it’s your fault too. Provided nothing interfered you made a choice, be it from whatever information you had, to cook whatever it was for only that length of time.

Now I’m not saying people can’t screw you. It’s plainly obvious that people can either interrupt you so you lose track of time and something gets burnt or give you the wrong cooking information or even turn your stove off on you.

But in the end _you_ are the one cooking.

I try not to blame anyone but myself for the things that happen in my life. Not fate, not The Goddess, not my neighbors, not my family. Blame can be assigned but it should no more be used for vengeance than you should smack the stove for burning the roast. It accomplishes nothing but denting something...usually you.

I can’t deny those things happened but neither do I need to dwell on them. Hell my whole family has been through the wringer multiple times over the years and we’re pretty beat up after all that.

But...

But...

Those events that beat us up all those years ago are gone now. They altered our past yes but in no way should they alter our future.

Life is hard. My mother taught me that. So did my father, and my sister, my grandmother, my uncle, my family, my friends, and above all those nasty people I’ve met in life.

But if I stop there and focus on all those events I will never see any beauty in front of me. Ever. No future.

Hate, anger, revenge, regret, sorrow, pain held fast to the heart - they all blind us to the future. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re holding onto them until it’s too late.

For a long time I was angry at my friend. At how he acted towards another friend - his wife. For years now I’ve held onto that until, just recently when she passed on.

What a colossal waste of energy that was. I didn’t realize how hard I was holding onto it until I went to her memorial yesterday.

Am I still angry with the way he acted? Yes. Will I still be angry if he acts like a twit in the future? Yes.

But now that I’ve let it go it no longer blinds me. I can see the future better, I can move forward faster, I can think clearer.

Without those things blinding me the future looks like a far far better place than it did a few days ago.

I’m not saying forget the past - that’s impossible. I’m saying that you need to take your eyes off it to look forward.

There. Is. No. Way. To. See. Forward. By. Looking. Back.

A mirror you say? Well that’s fine...if you want to see everything reversed.

So what do you do when the roast burns? You salvage what you can of it, de-glaze the pan, and start working on the next dish.

So what do you do when the roast is undercooked? Well cook it longer! Yes there’s a chance of overcooking it but at least you know what to do with it if that happens.

To put it in culinary terms we are living the biggest episode of Dinner: Impossible that ever existed. We can fail horribly or succeed gloriously by our own hand. If someone’s bothering you then kick them out of the kitchen or find someplace else to cook!

The universe is infinite. This world, for the practicality of one individual, is _also_ _infinite_. With resources that vast there _has_ to be a solution for a lot of the problems out there. And to find those we need to move forward.

To move forward one must trade their past for their future. There is no other way.

You can cherish your past certainly. You can even hold the memories dear. But don’t sit and stare at them too long or you’ll trip over your own feet.

And then who would cook your roast?