How do you know if the puzzle is broken from the inside?

[nimitzbrood]

February 2, 2009 11:16 AM 2/2/09

Everything is breaking down at work today and on top of that a good number of things in my back pack got covered with drips of orange cold medicine since the cap wasn’t screwed down all the way on the bottle.

What a wonderful way to start off the week...



I keep trying to be up-beat about things lately but I seem to be sinking a bit. I do know that I’m pretty tired and have been since I’ve gotten sick. I’d love to rest some more but I can’t afford to stay off work any longer nor use any of my vacation time.

Forgot to take my vitamins while I was sick so I’m dealing with that mess on top of everything else. And when I forget things like the 5-htp my world kind of comes crashing in all at once. Which is what’s happening right now...

I hate when this sort of stuff comes unraveled because it sets me back far enough that I have to actually work hard to get back up to where I was before.

I don’t plan on sliding back into the bucket but it would be nice not to get a mallet to the face on a regular basis.

Still it’s my own fault - I’ve been lazy of late and I know I can’t do that but damn I so just want to rest for a while.

I honestly don’t know what else to do about the situation. I never used to have to take time, I never used to dread going to work every day. Yes there were times I wanted to stay home but never complete dread of going to work.

And I can’t even rant about the things happening there in this venue because I know there are people that I work with that read this stuff. And if it’s one thing I can’t do right now is lose my job.


In less than 30 days we’ll have had the house a whole year. We never had a house warming party so maybe we’ll have some sort of off-kilter one this summer. That sounds good.

Got my mother back on the Internet at least so I accomplished something recently. Now I just have to finish all the _other_ things on my to-do lists.

Being sick hasn’t helped me one bit either. I’m still sniffling and a little clogged but this should be the tail end of it. Hopefully some of my energy will return after this crap passes out of my system.

(...)

I need some quiet. True quiet that has no noise in it.

I need a Zero Room.

I’m not joking. I need some place that has clean light, clean air, a comfortable place to sit and meditate. A place with no signals, no noise, nothing but silence. A place that I can quietly breathe and listen to my heartbeat. A place where I can just...be.

One thing’s for certain though...I’m not going to get that unless I make it myself.

I don’t know if I have the strength for that right now.

Comments

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

That's a very interesting way to think of the magickal relationship between computers and people! (Curiously enough, I almost never have problems with my computer, except for those that are the result of it just being too damned old and under-powered. Of course, I've been a technomage all my life, long before I knew the term...)

Healing is also the gift of Brigid that I lack. And so many people I care about could use some!

[nimitzbrood.livejournal.com]

Most Pagan people don't have a problem with computers from what I can tell. (This is about a decade or more of observed data.) Oddly Wiccan/Pagan people seem to have a better grasp of technology than most or at the very least seem less afraid of it.

The term Technomage for me is very real because if we don't kill ourselves as a species we'll very soon have the ability to present that image to whoever we want. We're approaching the Clarke Limit at a vastly accelerated rate.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

My father was a technomage, only he thought of it as "being good with machinery". Without even realizing what he was teaching, he taught me the mind-set appropriate to technomagick, along with the physical and logical skills. Like any other Talent, or talent, some people have more of it than others.

Most pagans are more used to working with computers, although a fair number of them are fundamentally Luddite. (There's a pervasive, almost unconscious, belief that, say, a flute hand-carved out of wood is somehow "better" than a molded plastic one produced by the thousands in a Chinese factory - even if the plastic one actually sounds nicer.) Conversely, though, I think that programmers and geeks are more likely to open to the concepts within paganism - this may be a result of having grown up reading science fiction and fantasy.

And I tend to prefer Clarke's Law reversed: "Any sufficiently advanced magick is indistinguishable from technology" ;-D